by Kim Harrison
Telling your hairstylist or beauty professional you have trichotillomania or a similar condition can be a big step. I struggled with this for a long time and would avoid appointments or not enjoy them because of fear my “dark secret” would be discovered.
The tips below are based on my personal experiences—I hope you find them helpful.
- Do your homework: If you’re finding a new hairstylist, do some research and trust your intuition when it comes to choosing someone you hope will be a good fit for you. If you feel able, you can call the salon and let them know about your condition and ask if they have a stylist who will treat you with kindness.
- Go prepared: Decide ahead of time what you will say and how you will say it. Download and print a card to keep with you if you feel that might help (it really helped me when I started to forget my words due to nerves). Practice in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend or family member.
- Know what you can and can’t control: Even if you do both of the first steps, you can never control someone else’s reaction to the news that you have trichotillomania. What you can control, however, is how you present the information and what you do once you’ve presented it.
- Take a friend: If you have a family member or friend who treats you with kindness and understanding, reach out and see if they’ll go with you to support you. If you don’t have someone in your life like that, consider taking support and inspiration from other sources before your appointment. I love reading personal stories, even Instagram posts, by people I feel are supporting my well-being even though I don’t know them personally. A few of my favourite people to read or watch when I’m feeling scared and alone are Elizabeth Gilbert, Brené Brown, and Lisa Congdon. Gather your support network around you, whether in person or through virtual sources.
- Treat yourself with kindness: This is a big thing, and it’s totally normal to feel scared, anxious, or whatever it is you’re feeling. Wherever you are in your relationship with this condition, it’s okay to be scared about taking this next step forward. Telling yourself you “should be able to do this” or asking yourself “Why can’t I just do this? It’s silly to be this scared” will not serve you at all. What would you say to a close friend who was going through this? How would you help them? Treat yourself with the same kindness. Do some breathing exercises, use calming essential oils, re-read personal stories that inspire you to keep moving forward, journal about this. It can also help to get a little reward ready for yourself for after you’ve done it. Expect to feel tired, maybe even deflated, as the adrenaline needed to do this leaves your body. Schedule some self-care time after the appointment if possible.
If you’re planning on taking this step and telling your hairstylist you have trichotillomania, I wish you the very best of luck—you can do this. You are strong enough.
View and download Kim’s PDF cards
I have trichotillomania (colour)
I have trichotillomania (black and white)
Read Kim’s previous post How I Told My Hair Stylist I Have Trichotillomania
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Kim Harrison is a writer and teacher. She shares poems and creative resources for adults and children at http://rubyriddlestein.com/
She has been living with trichotillomania since the age of 9 and has recently started to share her experiences through personal essays and poems.
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